a call to arms

It was a joy and privilege to watch Julian dream - working his eyes, mouth, nose - whole body - while he slept!

things we spend

Time and money.
We spend both of these.
But only the money we spend can be earned back; the things we buy can be returned.
Time, once spent, is gone.

a monumental day

I became a grandmother at 8:11 a.m. for the first time!!
I became a doula at 6:15 p.m.
I am posting my 100th post.

we are His workmanship - in love

"We are, not metaphorically but in very truth, a Divine work of art, something that God is making, and therefore something with which He will not be satisfied until it has a certain character. Here again we come up against what I have called the "intolerable compliment'. Over a sketch made idly to amuse a child, an artist may not take much trouble: he may be content to let it go even though it is not exactly as he meant it to be. But over the great picture of his life - the work which he loves, though in a different fashion, as intensely as a man loves a woman or a mother a child - he will take endless trouble - and would, doubtless, thereby give endless trouble to the picture it were sentient. One can imagine a sentient picture, after being rubbed and scraped and re-commenced for the tenth time, wishing that it were only a thumb-mail sketch whose making was over in a minute. In the same way, it is natural for us to wish that God had designed for us a less glorious and less arduous destiny; but then we are wishing not for more love but for less."

C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain

reflecting on a Job well done

"Job never receives an explanation for his suffering. Job loses his family, his material prosperity and his health, yet God never tells him that he was being tested by Satan, nor is the reader told why God wants Job to endure such testing. For much of the book, Job is left without any tangible response from God. When God does speak, He essentially tells Job that he does not understand, but that He, God is good and sovereign. God answers not by changing Job’s situation right away, but by showing Job that he has not been abandoned.
In the end, Job receives a double portion of blessing; his health is restored and he has more children. Yet, even though this story has a "good ending" of sorts because Job is blessed for keeping his integrity by refusing to curse God, it leaves the reader unsettled. Job does not receive his children back. Job is never given an answer from God except, "I know what I’m doing, trust Me."
The book of Job emphasizes that man cannot understand God’s purposes and calls man to trust that God knows what He is doing and will bless those who take refuge in Him. In essence, there is no purpose to questioning God. God is good and God is in control."
This makes me think of Orual's situation. "Are you answered?" asked the gods of Orual. "Yes. You yourself are the answer."
Read the whole essay here - it includes commentary on Till We Have Faces.

why it's called a blog

I wonder if it is because it has the word "blaaaahhhh" in it. So when you are feeling that way, you can work it out through writing about it..........
I remember the saying,"Not only do our beliefs change our behaviour, but also our behaviour changes our beliefs."

I'm struggling with polarically opposite feelings about something that happened to me and I can't quite seem to sort them out.




Maybe I don't have to. Maybe the answer is to say - it happened, God caused it and He will somehow weave this into beauty in and for me (and perhaps for others) and that is enough for me to know.
The feelings are real but shouldn't be the focus of my thoughts. Perhaps that is where He wants me to come to rest. So in my ongoing quest to accept the sovereignty of God in my life and find grace and peace there for whatever He sends my way, perhaps feelings are overrated in priority. They must submit themselves to truth - and the truth is - God loves me and does all things for my good.



So blaaaaaahhhh just turned to blog.
Thinking better; feeling better.
First things first!

(see myself at http://thisismarcisworld.blogspot.com/2010/09/darkenss.html)

learning to love.....

My mother taught me everything beginning with how to love. She taught me that by loving me.














She has loved me for 56 years. She worked on my behalf, for my children and now for my first grandchild - her 10th great-grandchild. Her love for her 25 offspring is boundless. Even in her latter years, when she is tired and weakening, she works on our behalf - because she loves us.
















And we love her back.